Criminal Cinema

By: Rachel Sanders

The concept was a hipster’s wet dream. The Criminal Cinema: edgy, underground films screened on the weekends in a classic porno palace, five bucks a flick, cheap beer on Saturday nights. How could it lose? But the latest contender in Vancouver’s repertory theatre business lasted barely two months before equipment problems and low attendance forced The Criminal Cinema to rethink its strategy. Ultimately, the porn-tastic venue was just too yucky for all but the boldest of cinephiles. Not even for the chance to finally see Smokey and the Bandit on the big screen were Vancouverites willing to endure the disagreeable porn house odor of stale spunk and tears.

The Criminal Cinema is the brainchild of Kier-la Janisse (founder of Vancouver’s horror film festival, Cinemuerte), David Whitten (American producer/film distributor), and Darren Gay (owner of Black Dog Video). The trio is devoted to programming “outlaw films,” an expansive genre that covers avant-garde Mexican westerns and German horror films as well as John Hughes-directed teen flicks from the ‘80s. “A lot of these films are perceived by aware, intelligent people and connoisseurs of film of being unworthy of respect,” says David Whitten. “Kier-la disagrees vehemently. She’s like a public defender and these films are like a group of street denizens that are constantly being arrested for being derelict.” From the beginning, Janisse felt that the Fox Theatre – one of the last 35 mm porn theatres left in North America – was appropriate to the tone of her programming. “We kind of like the co-existence of our exploitation films and their porno films in the same theatre. That’s one of the charms it had for us.”

They had their gala opening on April 6th with a screening of Peter Jackson’s repulsive/magnificent Meet The Feebles. There was an atmosphere of nauseated camaraderie in the dilapidated auditorium and the bravest stayed and partied until 4 a.m. with some of Vancouver’s more colourful live musicians, including the inimitable Canned Hamm. The evening was a success and when I spoke to Janisse and Whitten shortly afterwards they were upbeat about the cinema’s future.

“I think a lot of people had fun and were able to look past the fact that it’s a porno theatre during the week,” said Janisse. “That’s obviously one of our concerns, that people aren’t going to be able to see past that.” Whitten agreed that the porn stigma would be hard to beat. “There are probably some potential patrons of The Criminal Cinema that are put off by the fact that it’s porno theatre and we need to win them over. I think we possibly can once we’ve accomplished a few more things, like replacing the seats. We’ve gone in and completely disinfected everything but the place is still pretty much a pit.”

The crew spent a whole month before their debut doing a theatre rescue operation. “it was rank in there,” said Janisse – but their efforts weren’t enough to completely resuscitate the shabby, malodorous venue.

During their first two months of operation, The Criminal Cinema’s time and funds were occupied with more important issues than renovation.

“There’s all kinds of projector problems,” revealed Janise more recently. “We’re fighting with the people who own the building. They’re supposed to pay for it and they’re not.” Hmm, surprisingly, pornographers don’t make the most reliable of business partners. “We had a technician in that says this equipment’s actually been faulty for a while… [the theatre owners] knowingly rented us non-operational equipment.”

Projection booth repairs chewed up so much of the group’s resources that plans to re-cover the theatre’s seats had to be abandoned. And those nasty seats certainly had an impact on attendance. After opening weekend, the cinema averaged only 30 people per screening. “Which isn’t actually that abnormal for a rep theatre,” Janise says, “but I think it could be a lot better if the condition of the theatre was different. If people want the kind of programming that we have to offer then we do need a bigger attendance. We just have to be in a venue that’s more pleasing to people.”

So bye-bye to the Fox. And what now? Restrictive parking laws prevent the trio from building a brand new theatre, which means The Criminal Cinema might just have to wait until an existing auditorium becomes available. But Janisse refuses to focus on the disappointment. “We’re just going to be a floating theatre for a while,” she says. “The Criminal Cinema will continue, it’ll just be on a monthly basis at other theatres around town who have agreed to host us until we find something.” The first of these monthly events is scheduled for June 15th, an all-nighter at the inimitable Blinding Light!! in Gastown. When I ask Janisse what she’ll be screening she snickers gleefully.

“A lot of really offensive little videos,” she says. “Stuff that you’d never be able to show legitimately anywhere.”

And so the uncrushable spirit of The Criminal Cinema lives on.

Stale Spunk and Tears Can’t Save B-Movie Scheme