We’re posting a zine review each weekday as part of International Zine Month. Today’s review is from Issue 15 of Broken Pencil.
zine, issue 1, 32 pages. $5 plus 2 stamps, Chris Binkowski, 106-300 Goulburn Priv. Ottawa, ON, K1N 1C9. [email protected], www.ncf.ca/~cl488
This zine truly touched me. It’s quite beautiful, and Chris is a good writer, but most of what touched me is his sheer openness. The zine was created as Chris was graduating high school, and it starts on September 26, 1998, so it’s chronological. Chris has muscular dystrophy and is in a wheelchair. He struggles with feelings of isolation and dependence. He is also forced to deal with other peoples’ reactions to him, and others aren’t always kind. I preferred his diary entries over the poetry. I loved the way he spoke about his favorite, inspirational music, and he has good taste, too. Chris also creates interesting graphics, including one of a photo called isolation, a picture of him being helped, called “i am too dependent”, and a photo of his arm.
Chris’s writing is strongest in his diary entries, when he talks about his highs and lows, his social life and his struggle for acceptance, romance and independence: “…i sat alone in the cafeteria with all these school people and i didn’t know any of them well enough to feel comfortable asking for help. i was about to ask paige but i chickened out. finally laura looked over to me and i motioned for her to come. getting my jacket off was awkward as well. i hadn’t really prepared laura for any of my needs and my low voice didn’t help to instruct very well. finally we managed to get my winter gear off, i felt sweaty, yucky and embarrassed, but oh well…” I found this stuff emotionally gripping and sad, it made me really think about isolation, and aloneness and all sorts of other things. (AK)