Remember that girl? You know, that girl you met in kindergarten? The one that was so awesome, and you desperately hoped that the toy rotation would line up in such a way that you’d be right behind her (or in front of her) so you could make totally witty kid-remarks about Tonka and K’nex? For me, that girl was Autumn. She lived down my road, and had wicked red hair. One time, her cat had kittens. Me and my Mom went to pick up one of the kittens because her family was giving them away. It was an adorable black cat named Shadow. I picked Shadow up in my arms and hugged him and kissed him, and I thought I’d never let him go. About 20 minutes later, my esophagus closed up and I hit the floor and started writhing. I spent the next 3 days inside of an oxygen tent, with a rash that consumed my entire body. That’s when I knew I could never love again. The Hot Toddies are really awesome, though. (Aaron Zorgel)
CD, Asian Man, www.asianmanrecords.com