Twenty-Eight Pages Lovingly Bound With Twine

Herbie, how’s it going little dude? I read your dad’s zine the other day so I thought I’d write you a letter. I probably should be addressing this to your dad, it’s his zine after all, but I figured he probably gets all the letters and you most likely never receive anything. You seem like an alright kid and I love the anarchy t-shirt you’re wearing on the cover (it’s amazing you found one your size!). You’re looking a little bit pissed off though– what’s wrong Herb? (You don’t mind if I call you Herb, do you?) I guess I would be a little annoyed too if my dad took billions of baby pictures of me and sent them out to all sorts of zine people. Don’t get mad at me or anything, but I think you look hilarious in those Wal-Mart photos, especially the one where you look like a drunken Elvis. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh at you, but it’s kind of hard not to, especially when your mom writes that she calls you Hoobie Doo. Oh Herb! Poor guy– I know you’ll get to a point (probably around the age of fifteen) where you’ll resent your parents for revealing your most private moments to the zine world. In many ways I’ll have to agree with you. They do go a bit overboard with the information (hell, I just read the one issue and already I know all about your eating habits/schedule and all the objects you like to stick in your mouth). Don’t get too mad at them though Herb. Your parents love you so much, it’s obvious, and it’s not every kid who can say the same. You’re lucky! I personally could’ve done without most of the information your dad puts in there about you though. No offence, you’re a cutie and all but I find it annoying the way new parents can’t stop blabbing on about their kid (Oh my God! Look, he drooled! He’s so cute!) You’ll see what I mean one day I’m sure. Still, your dad’s zine is pretty good. I liked his review section and hearing about the S.P.A.C.E convention. Tell him to send me the next issue, and while you’re at it, explain to your parents that you’re sick of those Wal-Mart photo sessions. They seem like sensible people, I’m sure they’ll understand. (Audrey Gagnon)

perzine, #5, 28 pages, Christopher Meyer, $2, PO Box 106, Danville OH, USA 43014

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