You buy it, drink it, and return the empties. Pretty simple, except for the fact that empty beer bottles may not be the only thing you are taking back to the beer store with you. I spoke to Peggy Berger who works the lines “Laverne and Shirley” style at a local brewery. Part of her job is to take the empties out of returned cases and many times each day, she removes much more than beer bottles from them… Free Fixin’s: You are emptying a beer case and notice that there are other objects inhabiting it besides bottles. How often does this happen? Peggy: Everyone finds something at least a few times a day. You’re always finding something weird. Mostly cockroaches and earwigs, but a lot of objects as well. What are some of the objects that you’ve found? I’ve found a fridge magnet of someone’s toddler, I found an ear to a Mr. Potato Head, a goalie from a miniature hockey game, and a ‘Hustler’ picture of two chicks, one was sucking the other’s tit. I’ve also found a beer cozy, Kinder Egg Surprise, this weird bra that said “Aqua” on it and lots and lots of keys. Do you have a favourite find? Yes, I found this little figure of an animated cartoon woman. She looks like a Karate fighter. I took it home. I also took the goalie home. I didn’t keep the Hustler picture though, although I did show it to everyone else on the line. What do you and your co-workers do with most of these objects? We keep a lot of the stuff. We stick any magnets or pictures onto the line to decorate it and make it more aesthetically pleasing. Some people take the objects; home, and the rest of it gets thrown out. Did anyone take the ‘Hustler’ picture home? No. I was passing it around the line and ( showed it to this one guy who turned very pale when he saw it. He grabbed the picture and kipped it up into little pieces. All of the other co- workers got a kick out of it though. How do you think these variety of objects end up in the beer cases? People have beer cases sitting in their homes forever. Things fall into the cases and people don’t even realize it. Eventually they notice the object missing and wonder ‘where did that go to?’ Any advice to beer drinkers? If you ever lose your keys, check your beer cases!
from Free Fixin’s by Linda Beer.